Gosh dang it’s been hot. It has been hot, early this summer. I had to work on my deck this weekend, and it was scorching. I don’t really mind the heat, as I have worked outside most of my life, but the sweating and the amount of water that I have to replace is what gets me. It’s laughable, more than anything else. I don’t believe anyone sweats like I do. It’s really pretty unbelievable .I drink a LOT of fluid when I am sweating, and it just POURS out of me. I’m not embarrassed by it, as it is just something that I do, and have done all my life. The amount of fluids that I can put down while working is incredible. My kids like to gather round and watch me chug 32oz waters, like frat guys watch keg stands. I bet I drank 6 gallons of water from Friday to Sunday….but that has nothing on the amount of food that I ate.
I ate all of it. Every bit of it. ALL THE FOOD. If it came within eyesight, I ate it. If it was out of arm’s reach, I had to choose whether the food was unhealthy enough for me to get un-horizontal long enough to walk over and eat it. This 4th of July I decided to celebrate my independence from all of the commonly accepted laws of health. I ate ice cream and Reese’s for 2 nights in a row, and then had some brownies to keep the streak alive.We went to Baskin Robbin, which is located in one of my favorite gas stations. I try to be nice to all people whom I come into contact, but I found myself being especially complimentary to the lady who was in charge of scooping the tonage of my “birthday cake” ice cream. I was acting in a fashion which I believe would fit the profile of a sociopath. I could feel myself staring at her so hard that the back of my neck cramped up. I was trying to telepathically communicate to her that I wanted my scoops to be as large as possible. I do not know how ethical or effective it is to try to use “The Force” on a gas station attendant, but I was pulling out all the stops on my Jedi Mind Tricks…I needed much ice cream. I was going to get much ice cream.
Pancho’s dip was consumed, both the white and the orange, along with bags and bags of chips. One of the Womack kids thought it would be a good idea to mix the two cheeses together…and he was right. If Hank Womack is any indication about what the future of our great nation has in store, then life is only going to get better. Hank Womack is to Pancho’s cheese dip, what Arnold Palmer is to lemonade and ice tea. That kid is a genius. My anxiety told me that I should have doubled up on the Pancho’s, but I didn’t listen. I wish I had because I ate about half of the Pancho’s dip the night before it was even supposed to be opened. I just kept thinking about the devastation and emptiness I would feel if I ran out of cheese dip on the fourth of July. I had cheddarwurst, italian sausage, dogs, burgers, ribeyes, and filets. I threw some fruit in there for good measure, but that was just window dressing. Last night, I had Chik-Fil-et to tide me over for 2 hours while we went to visit The Memphis Escape Room. Watching my co-horts solve an incredible difficult crime mystery made me extremely hungry. Fortunately, The Cail family had prepared an incredible meal of baked spagehetti, where I helped myself to three pounds of it, along with 38 rolls…and some corn. I came home and ate a refrigerated hamburger patty, to insure I didn’t starve to death in my sleep, which is a very real and rational fear of mine.
Anyways, after picking my children up a rather unhealthy breakfast on the way to camp this morning, I was sure to drive as quickly as possible, only to be certain that they would not have time to finish their breakfasts, leaving me to do the obligitaory “polishing off”. Today, we get back in the saddle. If I do nothing else, I will enter the house of hell and go headlong into THE GROCERY STORE! God, I hate grocery shopping. I cannot go to the store without accusing at least 30% of the other shoppers of stealing my cart, as I can never remember where I place it. It is extremely difficult to text, tweet, fb and find aluminum foil at the same time. I hate shopping. However, LHRL has signed up for the monthly Mealfit plan and I am STOKED about giving it a shot. I have had some really good success with my nutrition when I meal plan ahead of time, but I tend to not want to put in the work of prepping. That will soon change, at least for one week it will. Anyways, I look forward to the week, and the detoxification that will soon be taking place.
If you are interested in trying Mealfit’s plan, just:
1. Visit mealfit.co
2. Scroll to “GYM MEMBER” under the navigation bar.
3. Use the code: MFLIFTHEAVY at checkout, and receive 75% off.
Ya’ll have a great day, and don’t eat too much.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,