This Saturday, July 26 I competed in the 3rd Annual CrossFit for Kids, to benefit St. Jude. It was a helluva event put on by the fine people at DeSoto CrossFit. There were over 200 participants, and the place was jumping! You registered in teams of 2 with a co-ed partner. Coincidentally, I had the most bada*s partner on the planet. Her name is Celeste Bernard, and she is smoking hot, extremely hard working, and most importantly, loves to have fun. We joined forces in order to form the lethal, and now legendary, tandem of “Beauty and the Beef”. I would like to give a special thanks to her boyfriend, Josh Sparwasser, who not only allowed me to borrow his girlfriend, but was a huge supporter, and also manned the grill for the competitors of Olive Branch CrossFit. Josh has been a friend and supporter of mine ever since I tipped my fata*s over during the first day of warmups at OBCF. I was excited about the entire day, as it was going to be a long one. Celeste had messaged me earlier in the week expressing that she was a little bit nervous, and wanted to verify that I was not going to be over-the-top competitive. My response was, “Fu*ck no. We are there to party, have fun, and win the award for sexiest asses”, which we did, unofficially. We had tents, tables, chairs, and food. It was like being at a music festival. The only difference seemed, I was sipping on water while waiting to get my adrenaline rush from one of the 3 workouts, as opposed to guzzling beer and waiting for the ecstasy to kick in. At either event, there is plenty of socializing, pretty girls, and good laughs, so I was down for the whole afternoon.
The CrossFit for Kids event was a great day for a multitude of reasons. It was a beautiful day, well-organized, good crowd, but most importantly it was a good day, because I decided it was gonna be a good day. My partner Celeste and I had made the conscious decision to “enjoy ourselves” instead of “compare ourselves” to the other competitors. We decided to focus on high fives, big laughs, and encouragement, as opposed to envy, jealousy, and insecurities. It was nice to admire the other competitors and their bada*s skills, because there were some BAD MAMMA JAMMAS up in there. That is what its all about. However, I have a tendency of going into self deprecating mode, and beating myself up for all the things that other athletes are, which I am not. Its bullsh*t, I know, but I have to consciously work on it.. Celeste was an absolute joy to have as a partner, and we did what we said we were going to do. We did our best, our loudest, our proudest, and we got high, high, high as a kite, on that drug, adrenaline. Gotta love it.
The highlight of my day was watching Chris Drogmiller, who has become affectionately known as “The Big Show”. At about 6’3” 280lbs, he is a big muther fu*ker. Coach John loves big muther fu*kers, as he gets off on tapping into individual’s raw strength and power. I think that John secretly keeps a 5”X7” of Chris on the dashboard of his truck, as well as a picture in his wallet. He knows that Chris has a lot of potential that he is going to grow into, quickly.
***SIDE NOTE:I thought that I would mention that, I love angry people, especially big, angry people with bad attitudes, that have a propensity for breaking sh*t. I don’t want them angry all the time, but I do enjoy watching them during the heat of a workout or sporting event, when the anger helps fuel the fire. END SIDE NOTE***
Well, during one of the workouts, Chris got extremely pissed about something, and I cannot remember what it was. The workout was pull-ups and wall balls. Naturally, big beefy bastards, like Chris and I do not do well with pull-ups. I believe it has something to do with sexiness having a strong magnetic attraction towards the earth’s core, but I’m not a scientist, I am a dumba*s. Anyways, he was either pissed at himself about pull-ups, or he was pissed at a judge for getting a “no rep” on a wall ball. Regardless, Big Show was FUC*ING HOT! While performing his wall balls, he looked like a 300lb potato launcher; whose fuel were anger, and his feet was the flint. Every time his ass hit his ankles, it created a spark and BOOM!! He was placing a 20lb wall ball into orbit. My friend Dustin looked at me, unknowing that Big Show is my boy, and said, “Damn, homeboy launchin 20’ heaves”. I was TRIPPIN! That ball might have well had been a beanbag, and the ceiling could have been in a cathedral, he was gonna be spanking the roof of the place.
Anyways, the day was a huge success, and a great deal of fun. I had the opportunity to get a little closer with some good people, and meet some new ones. It is really a rush to see people, at whatever level, get out of their comfort zone, and be the best that they can be, in comparison to THEMSELVES. I felt accepted, encouraged, and welcomed. I don’t know if you can ask for much more than that in any given day. On top of that, it was for a good cause. I want to make myself perfectly clear, if it counts as charity work to spend a day exercising with over 100 beautiful women in Yoga pants and booty shorts, y’all might as well start erecting a statue of Saint fuc*kin Beefcake, cause I am willing to give of my time and money for that, everyday.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef Related.