I had been obsessing over the same problem for 14 hours. It’s a mathematical problem. It requires structure, data, syntax and output….and I was stumped. I could only stare at the computer for so long before I decided to stare at the ceiling. When staring at the ceiling didn’t work, I stared at my eyelids as I drifted off to sleep. When I awoke, the problem was still there- nothing had changed.
There has to be a solution.
What am I missing?
Will I ever figure this formula out?
I went to the gym. 5am at Olive Branch Crossfit. Playtime.
Sid, Lynn and I did some work, had some laughs, gossiped a bit and then started the workout. Kettlebells, sit-ups, and squats. Life was good, the workout was hard. And then there it was. Round 2, kettlebell swing number 12. The solution to my problem gently slid in between my ears while politely pushing out all of the other fears and anxieties that can sometimes consume my mornings. It was as if God himself had Ubered his way down from heaven and delivered my solution as if it were a meat-lovers pizza (Jesus, I love pizza…but he already knew that.)
I could have thrown deuces to Sid and Lynn and walked out the door. I had received what I came looking for. They would have totally understood my reasoning.
Clarity is what is get from fitness. Even against the ten thousand Reese’s cups, eight hundred gallons of ice cream and the six- hundred buckets of fried chicken that I have working against me, nothing straightens me out like an elevated heart rate and the feeling of blood pumping into my muscles.
I will never be a fitness model. I will never be a competitor in any fitness category. I will never have abs and I will never win Mr. Universe. However, I will have the solution to the problem that I couldn’t find last night. One less thing to worry about.
Could I have found the solution through a bag of cheese-puffs or a pack of cigarettes? I’m not sure, it’s impossible to say with certainty.
Could I have figured it out if I just would have spent more time in front of the computer? It’s not out of the realm of reason, I simply don’t know.
What I do know is this, there is something about moving around that seems to push the bad from my brain and allow room for what needs to be in there.
Clarity is a wonderful thing, regardless of how fleeting it may seem. If it gets too far away, there is usually something l I can lift if I need to find it.
I try not to stray too far from the barbell. My peace of mind depends on it.
Peace, love and all things Beef related,
Excellent entry Wilson. I am much more at ease in regards to anxiety when I have a regular exercise/movement practice.