I have always felt that the goal was to be comfortable; to work my way into a position that I didn’t have stress or concerns. Today, I feel differently about that.
I had a mini-breakdown yesterday afternoon. It was typical and short-lived, but it was intense. I have a lot going on, most of which involves things in areas that I have no experience. All of these arenas I have entered voluntarily, and I am doing these things because I want to (no one is holding a gun to my head). I am busy, overwhelmed, out of my element, and, most definitely, not comfortable.
I decided to go to the gym last night and work out some of the crazy. After returning home, I took a shower and began to towel off. I heard Amanda walking in the back door. She was on the phone with our son, Grayson. He was reading a book to her. He had a reading assignment and he felt like it would be helpful to have Amanda listen in with him as he did his work. He looks up to her tremendously.
Grayson read, and Amanda listened. In between paragraphs, he would pause and throw in some random information about something that happened that day at school, or something that took place at recess. He would read some more and then ask, “Is that important? I should remember that part, don’t you think?”
I walked into the den and sat down on the couch. Amanda looked up from her phone, gave me a little wink, along with a playful grin. She continued to listen intently to Grayson read and ramble; read and ramble; read and ramble. Most humans would have already wrapped a bedsheet over the ceiling fan and been working on tightening it around their own neck, but not Amanda, she continued to patiently and willingly listen Grayson as he read to her.
Amanda was providing comfort.
This is what it means to be secure. This is what it looks like to instill confidence. This is what it looks like to love. This is why children grow up and achieve. This is why people are willing to experience discomfort in exchange for success, even at the risk of failure.
All this time, I thought being comfortable was the goal, and if I was not comfortable than I must have been doing something wrong. What I am looking for is “easy”, not comfortable. None of this is supposed to be easy. Easy is not fulfilling, easy is easy.
It was at that moment that I appreciated my being overwhelmed and out of my element. It was then that I was reminded that the goal is to be secure, confident, strong, and a little uncomfortable. It was at that point in time that I saw, clearly, all of the gifts that have come from doing the things and enduring the periods of my life that have made me most uncomfortable. It was at that moment when I appreciated my parents for nurturing me to be confident and brave, but insisting I establish goals which are lofty and uncomfortable.
It’s not about comfort. It’s about being loved, which instills confidence and security, which makes you brave, which makes you willing to experience discomfort in an effort to dig deep down until you find joy.
I reveal my best during periods of discomfort.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,