The scale must be sitting on an uneven surface because it shows me to be about 3 pounds lighter than yesterday. I know better than that. I am not under the delusion that anything comes that quickly. 3lb swings are part of the dance. One benefit of being really heavy and having uneven floors is that the scale can give you drastically exaggerated results often leading to feelings of elation…or self-mutilation.
I didn’t exercise at all yesterday and it killed me. I couldn’t break free from my day job and had to work last night. Today will be different, I have a nice 4 mile run planned and then CrossFit on Friday…hopefully.
I ate pretty decent, kinda. I didn’t eat anything until about 2:30 pm which is part of that “all or nothing- set myself up for failure- try to lose 40lbs by the end of the day- inevitably end up with my face in a pile of cheese fries mentality”.
Yesterday afternoon, I walked into a gas station and was planning to grab some fruit and nuts. Of course, it was there. It is always there. That big hotbox of warm, fried foods held captive inside its perfect glass shadowbox of protection. I get goosebumps just thinking about all of that goodness. When I look through the glass, I observe that the only difference between the color brown and gold is my level of hunger, and everything I was seeing was solid friggin gold.
I was audibly telling myself, “Buy the damned fruits and nuts, you stooge. Get the stuff and get outta here. You posted a blog less than 8 hours ago about your commitment and here you are about ready to cave.” but I was still so torn. The cheese sticks looked so lonely and the pizza puffs seemed so sad. A chicken wing winked at me and a quesadilla blew me a kiss. As I drifted off into a trance, I could hear a Peter Cetera song playing from the roller dog machine. I could hear the song of the Siren, only that song was sung by a taquito.
Dammit, I love to eat.
I bought the fucking peanuts. I ate the godforsaken fruit. I made it through the day but I am not happy about it.
It wasn’t perfect but it’s done.
Here is to Day 2 of the great battle of Captain Puddinsides.
Peace, love and all things Beef related,