My run this morning involved me trying to keep my undies from bunching up in my capris. They’re baggy. Lots of clothing will get baggy when you lose 35 lbs. This post isn’t about how to lose weight by running long or lifting heavy or eating a certain diet. It’s about how I worked to create a life I love.

I hit rock bottom mentally at the beginning of this year. Deep dark depression that suffocates you. I’m going to put all this out there because I read something in the spring that someone else put out there and it was the push I needed to finally say enough is enough and I wanted help. I knew more than anything that there was a lot of life and adventure and love and joy waiting for me and I deserved to experience it.

I got a therapist and I talked to her twice a month. After 3 months it became clear that I was a good candidate to try medication for my depression and anxiety (never knew I had anxiety).

To say my quality of life changed would be a vast understatement. “So this is what life is supposed to feel like?” was something in my head daily for weeks after seeing the improvements with medication.

In June, I did a 2 week of trial of Noom (psychology based weight loss program that helps you dig down to why you eat.) From the start of the program I’m down 28 lbs. I had dropped 7 lbs on my own prior to joining the program. For me, my issues with food walk hand in hand with my depression and anxiety. I had to fix what was in my head before I could fix what I put in my mouth and Noom was a critical piece in that repair process.

A good friend asked me this week why I lost weight. What was my reason? How did I do it? I told him I was absolutely sick and tired of not living up to my own potential and letting myself down. Of not reaching my own goals for myself. Scared of thinking the life I was leading at the start of the year was all it was going to be for another 50 years. I know I will always have to stay focused and manage my mental health issues but now I’m living a life that gives me great joy. We all deserve a life that brings us joy.