Was it typed in all caps?
Was there one exclamation point or three?
Did they speak with inflection in their voice?
Did they type “Lol”?
It can be pretty exhausting trying to figure out the encrypted nature of the human language. As an over-thinker, everything means something else and rarely does it mean what is right in front of me. My life is a DaVincci Code with each clue having a new meaning that has no correlation to the one before. It’s an unsolvable puzzle; an unwinnable game.
I talked to a friend of mine about a conversation I had recently. I told him what I had said to a certain individual and then I told him what was said in response. I asked him what he thought it meant. He said,
“It means exactly what was said. It means what the words mean that were taught to you as a child so that you can grow up to use as an adult. If you did not learn what words meant as a child than you probably won’t be able to properly interpret them as an adult. If the person you were conversing with is using the words to relay a different message than what is generally accepted, then you are probably not communicating with a mature adult ”
I explained to him that I knew what was said, but I felt like the other person meant something different than what they said. He told me that it was not my job to try to detect hidden meanings in adult conversation. Mature conversation doesn’t require decoder rings. If a grown person tries to passively inflict guilt, anger, cause emotional harm, or send hidden signals by any means other than direct communication, I am conversing with a child and I should weigh it as such.
I have found that grown-up conversations involving honest assertion with direct messages that are relayed with their intended purpose and contain no underlying meanings are pretty rare. Many of us are like children playing charades and hoping the other person gets the message.
Communicating and interpreting words the way they were intended and not taking any additional steps makes life a lot easier.
I need to communicate like an adult more often. It requires assertion and a degree of discomfort which is necessary to relay a clear message. Very few people are willing to communicate like adults. The ones that do are a pleasure to be around, even when you don’t like what they have to say.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,