It’s a bizarre question, I understand. It might be a little personal, however you’re the one that keeps bringing it up, and speaking about it in rooms full of people. You obviously are not ashamed of it, or else you wouldn’t have it hanging out there in the open for everyone to see. Truth be told, I don’t believe that you are even aware of it, although everyone else sees it. They see it, just as plain as the nose on your face. It is so big and protrudes so far out into your life, that it literally stops you from living it. My question is this…
How big is your BUT?
That’s not a typo, it’s a legitimate question. How big is your “but”? How often do you use it? How often do you circle back around and grab it when the moment comes to do something different in your life? Do you make excuses for it, or just put it out there for people to see? Is it always showing? How much sh*t pours out if it, and are you actually buying it. It sounds as if you are a commissioned salesman, who gets paid based on the number of people who are willing to buy your “but”. Sadly though, you are the only one believing it. We all have a “but” that we refer to when life presents us with opportunity for growth. Some of us grab a hold of it, and cling to it with everything we have, and some of us choose to keep it concealed and embrace the challenge and pursue fulfillment, at whatever cost.
I think the majority of people have a name for their “but”, and it really gives them problems. These three letters are always standing directly in the way of their happiness. If their “but” would get outta the way, life would be good. You know the drill, “I would be happy, BUT my dad’s a pain in the ass”, “BUT Ricky from my office is out to get me”, “BUT Sally is always showing off”, “BUT my boss wants me to work late.” Yep. Everybody has a BUT that they put into play at every opportunity. “I would try your gym, BUT I need to wait till the first of the month”, “I really want to take art lessons, BUT I have to yada, yada.” “I really wanted to meet you for dinner, BUT blah blah.” Listen, I am the king of it. I have lived 30+ years of having my big “but” stand in the way of all kinds of happiness and adventure. My fat “but” is usually pimpled with fear, and I really don’t want anyone to see it. Unfortunately, they can’t help but to see it. The reason that it’s so visible is because everyone has had a big, fear pimpled “but” at some point in their life, if they don’t already have one, at this very moment.
What I have found is that the “but” is always there, but I don’t necessarily have to show it. I can keep it tucked inside me, and choose not to reveal it. That’s where the change comes in, and with change comes risk, and with risk comes opportunity, and with opportunity comes forward progress, and forward progress…well, it has a thousand different forms each just as ugly and beautiful as you can imagine, just depending on which stage of growth it is captivated. I don’t have any doctoral education as it pertains to the “buts” that we possess, but I do know that the chances of the “but” doing any changing is not good. If Mary is the “but” standing in the way of your happiness, well you need to find a way over, under, or around Mary, cause she ain’t gonna do nothing different to help make your life easier. If Bobbie is the “but” holding you back, I suggest you drop him like Comcast, cause he will only get heavier and harder to deal with. If you are of adult age, and mom and dad is your “but”, than you are most likely the real ass in the deal. Strengthen the relationship or create distance, but don’t just woller in self-pity (I have my Masters in self-pity). I have been taught, at the tender age of about 39 years old, to interrupt myself just before the “but” and see what I am left with. “I would love to….” (and leave out the “but”). That is where I find discomfort, often some regret, growth, and an abundance of freedom in trying and achieving new levels of fulfillment.
Please don’t read this too literally, and assume that there are not legitimate”buts” that need to be shown. Don’t read this and believe that I believe myself to be an expert on anything. There are kids which need attention, dogs that need to be fed, books that need to be studied, and work that needs to get done. I am simply saying that being aware of how often you use excuses why NOT to do neat things, can make you aware of how full of sh*t that you sound. Was that too blunt? I feel sure you will get over it. You are a great person that is meant to do great things. In order to do great things, you have to be an active participant in life. To say that you, me, or anyone else knows what our potential, our glass ceiling of accomplishment, our level of success contains is absolutely asinine. My mom, a retired civilian from the United States Navy, has a quote on her wall from General Patton, which reads, “No good decision was ever made from a swivel chair.”
I think you get the point. Get up. Get the blood pumpin. Let’s give it all we got. The sun is shining and good things are out here to be had. If you can’t find anything positive, then gosh dammit, be the positive. I know what it looks like to be on the other side of optimism, but it turns out, that mountain ain’t that tall, and the weather is much nicer here. Fake it till you make it, and when you make it, stay there as long as you can. And, when you lose your way, find a friend who knows what the hell is going on and have them guide you back to it.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,
Beefcake