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Beefcake #5

“I thank Thee first because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth because it was I who was robbed, and not I who robbed.”

~Matthew Henry

I received a call from my neighbor of over 13 years. Earlier that morning they found Amanda’s handbag laying by the big tree stump at the end of our driveway, along with other personal belongings strewn about. Her car had been broken into the previous evening.

I think I had the same checklist of emotions that comes with any instance where personal items are taken from you without consent. Briefly, I was afraid, concerned, angry, quick to point fingers, and vigilant. I experienced these feelings briefly, but ultimately, I was grateful. I am grateful for all of the things that I am, and all of which I am not. I am grateful for all of the possessions that I have, and what I have done to earn them. I am grateful for my situation and the people that have helped me shape my environment.

What should I feel? Should I feel more hatred? Should I pretend to be above stealing (because I am not)? Should I view the world as spiraling down the toilet?

I don’t know how I should feel. I don’t know this person’s situation. I don’t know what their life looks like. I don’t know what any of the lives look like, that aren’t in my little, white, upper-classed, privileged bubble. I don’t know what it’s like to be raised without the love of a mother or the guidance of a father. I don’t know what it is like to feel as if I have to steal something because I really “need” to. I don’t know his situation, and I don’t know his options. What I do know is this, I have utilized every option that I swore that I would never utilize, when I reached the place where I felt I had no other options. I have done some bad things and been raised in the best circumstances, it is hard for me to say what I would do if my environment was different.

At the end of the day, I really hope that this person breaking into Amanda’s truck helps. I hope it helps them reach the bittersweet “bottom”. I hope that this is the turning point. If I can be of any assistance in helping a man reach his bottom, so that he might begin the re-building process that is often necessary in order to do better, and be better….well by all means, keep the watch and the sunglasses.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,

Beefcake

My name is Wilson Horrell, aka “Beefcake”.  I’m a junkie turned sober that found CrossFit, running, and community to be my new addiction. I have no education or experience as a writer, and almost zero knowledge of grammar. I love sitting in front of a computer and spitting it out on paper as it goes through my brain. I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to reach out or comment at anytime!

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