Me: “What is the blog topic?”

Amanda: “Letting go.

I wonder why she chose that topic?

Is she saying I don’t let things go?

Was that a jab?

Maybe, she needs to let things go. I let things go. Nobody tells me what to hold onto, and what to let go. Nobody tells me what to do. I do what I want.

Was she referring to a specific instance?

Did she mean it to be snarky?

Was she saying to “let the blog go”?

Can you imagine anyone less qualified to write about the importance of letting things go, than yours truly?

I am the undisputed, heavy-weight champion of holding onto to unnecessary animosity. I can place a single snapshot of my day in a bear trap, nurse it back to health, feed it and fatten it up, only to fight it to the death. “Letting go” is not something I do well.

I have cauliflower ear, because of wrestling with resentments while rolling around with unnecessary thoughts inside my head. I am the Royce Gracie of taking a conversation and grappling with it until there is submission or resolution….or even worse, confrontation.

Unfortunately for me, they do not give out trophies, bonus checks, free buffets, or puppy dogs for winning arguments that never take place. If they did, I would win the golden steering wheel, because that is where I win most of my altercations that never occur. The steering wheel is where I go when I want a fictional crowd of people to gather inside my head to watch me verbally slay whomever has spoken to me with any level of disrespect. It’s an event, a celebration of sorts. The conflict resolution that goes on inside of my brain is like the Mardi Gras of all made-up scenarios, or the XFL of poorly handled situations. I should sell tickets.

It never works.

I never win.

Whether it be sitting upright behind the steering wheel, or laying down and staring at the texture of the ceiling, the constant rewind/replay of scenarios that could, would, might, or didn’t happen will not be solved by playing make-believe. It is a tremendous waste of time.

It’s exhausting.

Today, I will let it go.

I will save my energy for something different. Something positive. Something healthy. Something helpful.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,

Beefcake

 

 

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