A few months ago I would have said that 2018 can die in a fire. However, nearing the end of the year, I have gained some unexpected perspective, drive and motivation. So, 2018 was a year to learn lessons it seems, and for that I am very grateful.
I got to a very low point sometime around the end of August. Honestly, I just wanted to quit everything. I felt like it would be best to just give everything up and start over from scratch. I thought of myself as a failure, and I had a LOT of negative thoughts going on about pretty much everything I was doing and not doing.
It’s an odd feeling really because I’ve created and accomplished so many great things, but I convinced myself that I hadn’t really accomplished anything and didn’t deserve to give myself any credit for anything. Who was I to think I could help people? I’m a mess. I remember sending an email to the lady at St. Jude telling her I wasn’t going to run the marathon. I had signed up to raise $3000.00 and I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Not only that, but I wasn’t even going to run any more. I fired off a series of emails to her. “I need to withdraw. I’m not running or raising any money. Keep my $75 race fee, I’m out. I just can’t afford to do this.” On and on and on with more and more negativity.
Then one day it just hit me. How long was I going to live in this negative space? Where was this all going to go with nothing but negative thoughts going on pretty much all the time. How long was I going to beat myself up over stupid and trivial things? I could either keep going down this road or I could stop, figure out what’s really going on and change course. I decided to stop and work on creating a new way forward.
I have really had some amazing experiences in my fitness journey over the last 10 years. I decided to take some time to focus on everything that has happened along the way and really appreciate all of the incredible opportunities that I have had. So I started writing Tater Tots. I still have a LOT of stories to tell, but it has been so amazing and refreshing to just take some time to really think about all the wonderful things that have happened over the years. It has also provided me some time to think about opportunities that I missed and mistakes that I made and how I can improve as I grow and move forward. This has been a great benefit.
I decided to log into my St. Jude Hero account and send off an email. It couldn’t hurt to actually put some effort into this thing could it? I fired off an email to about 500 people on my contact list of about 1000 people. It struck me that many people don’t even have a contact list much less one long enough to pick out 500 targets for a fundraising email. Anyway, the money started coming in. I was amazed and moved. Who would have thought? You actually change your attitude and put some effort into something and it starts to work out. The attitude changing is the most important action I think. Turns out I’ve raised around $2600.00.
Some other things I’ve been working on and thinking about lately are planning, purpose and direction. Too often in the past I’ve started things with no clear reasoning or direction. Instead of making a plan and executing it I’ve just tried to do everything off the cuff. That’s great sometimes, but more often than not leads to things not getting done or just fading out (poor follow through). I think if you have an idea and you spend some time thinking about why you are doing it and how it’s going to get done that you have a better chance of it being successful and you will be happier with the outcome. If there’s no good reason behind an idea then don’t do it. Just say no. More importantly, write down exactly how things should get done, when they should get done, and stick to the plan no matter what. If you don’t think you can stick to the plan then don’t start. It’s ok to say no, it’s ok to say no, it’s ok to say no.
With all of that said, here are a few of my personal plans for 2019.
Training is a priority. It has to get done. Every week, write down what training is going to get done on what day and when. All of the running on the schedule must get done. Focus on the DEAT philosophy. Drop everything and train. I’ve ordered a brand new journal for the new year, and all training will get written down. What did I do, how did I feel, etc.
Finish writing the Tater Tot blogs. Write down deadline dates for them and have them done and posted by the deadline.
My vlog on YouTube needs a purpose and a plan. Within the first two weeks of the new year there needs to be a plan written for it with enough ideas to post at least 12 videos during 2019 and when those will be filmed, done and posted. If anyone wants to send me ideas I’m open.
Make meditation and journaling a priority. These are things that should be done every day without exception.
Make a conscious effort daily to look for opportunities where I can help people, LHRL, and OBCF. When I see an opportunity, I will make a plan of action and see it through. Define success and end goals and things that can be measured. I do have a lot of knowledge and skills that I can share with the world and I am in a great position to help a lot of people. I should make sure I take every opportunity to do that.
Forget what you think other people are thinking about you and what you are doing. It doesn’t matter. Not even a little bit.
2018 has taught me a lot. I’m looking forward to a brand new year, and I can’t wait to see all of the great things we all accomplish. If I can help you with anything, please let me know and we’ll chat about it. Happy New Year everyone, it’s going to be fantastic!