As inspired by my friend Von Ralls, here’s my weekly update, By Crystal Irwin Landers
Source of motivation
My source of motivation has been primarily the LHRL community the app. I am driven by “gold stars” and that’s one thing I like about the app is when you complete a workout or a run, it gives you an “attaboy” congrats or pr. I also love seeing how the community has come together more since I’ve been on, how more people throw in congrats or helping others with questions or the general sharing of what they’ve been up to. So if you aren’t on the app, you should be, because we want you to be there.
Weekly training progress & goals
This week has been a hit or miss. I think I actually only got to lift and run a couple times, which is dramatically down from normal weeks. But I don’t put as much pressure to get them in as much these days. I used to feel like I would “loose all my gainzzzz” if I didn’t put in a hard days work everyday. But I’ve been learning that life happens, like snow days and long work days that just makes it impossible.
Weekly Nutrition Progress & Goals
With the above being said, I have also not been so worried about eating perfect macros. I’ve given myself that mental break too. I do try to think about getting in a balanced meal 3x a day. Sometimes it happens, sometimes I don’t get off work til late night and it just doesn’t happen, or I’ve managed to graze all day. It’s called balance right? And with my natural tendency for discipline, it’s not something that can’t be undone.
Yesterday, November 17th marks the day my mother passed away 13 years ago.
While this day has haunted me for several years in the past, I think I’ve really been putting habits, people and behaviors in place to not fall into that depression trap this year. I feel so much lighter this month compared to last November. And with the holidays upon us, it has usually been a time of cringing and crying getting thru. With both parents deceased, older siblings estranged from each other and my younger brother over seas, our Irwin get togethers just don’t exist any more. So I’m really trying to not dwell on that.
Last Friday, November 9th is the day I turned my life over to the State of Missouri Department of Corrections in 2009, which is also the day I quit using drugs and alcohol to cope with life. The fact that I’ve stayed stopped amazes me. Yes, I have a twelve step program and a fellowship of like minded individuals to help me stay sober, but the fact that I manage a bar/restaurant and have complete control over the liquor inventory and I am trusted with it just baffles me. It’s truly a miracle, especially with the fact that I’m not tempted at all. It’s just not a solution any more. If I choose to drink now, all the miracles I’ve gotten with my sobriety will slowly slip away.
Something I’m grateful for
I’m so grateful to have my LHRL family. We all challenge and encourage each other. EVEN MORE SO than I’ve experienced in any community I’ve been a part of in a long time. The fact that I’ve signed up for my first trail race 25K at Swamp Stomper says volumes. That I want to physically be a part of not just virally. So I hit my first trail yesterday with a new group of runners. It gets me completely out of my comfort zone and makes me feel like the world is my oyster. What’s stopping me from doing anything? I’m not trying to be the best. But I love making memories just doing it.
I learned this week
My sister in law is moving into a brand new house this weekend. It’s literally in my back yard and I’ve gotten to see it go up before my eyes. Anyway with that said, it’s made me a little jealous. I want a nice new, clean house. But I really do have a good one that has served me well since being sober. I have learned that I need to be a good steward of my own before I could have something nicer. Because with my life, I’m way too busy to be cleaning cleaning cleaning. And honestly there’s still boxes crammed in closets that never got unpacked since the day I moved in.So, I’m learning baby steps to start stewarding a better house, with the one I got.