A friend of mine explained to me that at any given time you are either acting out of love or fear. I didn’t really like the sound of this, particularly because I fear that he is right.
Most questions involving the welfare of another human being are generally coming from a place of love but most other questions I have are usually peppered with fear. If I don’t know, I am afraid that I don’t know; I am even more afraid that you know that I don’t know….and that means you know how little I really know.
I tell my children to ask questions when they don’t know the answer….and then I get angry at them for interrupting me with too many questions. I tell my kids that they don’t need to ask me every time they do something but then I yell at them when they don’t do it right.
Communication is hard.
I am often so afraid of not having the right answer that I am afraid to ask more questions so that I can be sure and do the right thing. This leads to assumptions and assumptions lead to problems. My desire to show you how competent I am often leaves me not asking enough questions so that I might come across as “independent”….it usually leaves me looking foolish when a couple of questions could have helped me avoid the situation.
My mom asks a lot of questions. I generally get frustrated and impatient as she goes through the checklist of possibilities. However, when given a mission there is no one more reliable than her. If the goal is to travel to a destination, she will reach it. If the goal is to pick someone up at an airport on the other side of the world, she will be waiting. If the goal is to get the kids to practice at a field that she has never visited, they will play ball.
As Amanda and I traveled three hours away from home this weekend, she asked, “I hope your mom got the kids from school with no problems and can get Grayson to his baseball game, ok.”
My response was, “I don’t have to worry about mom following through on her mission, ever. She asks the questions ahead of time and clears up the confusion on the front end. I never worry about mom finishing a task when the task has been made clear.”
I should learn to ask more questions on the front end.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,