“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
We all use little quotes sometimes. This was the first quote that’s ever really stuck with me. I have several now that I reference and apply when the time is right, but this one was the first one I remember seeing written on the whiteboard when I walked into a rehabilitation center. My name is Sandi and I’m an addict. I began using recreational drugs and alcohol at the age of 12. It was my escape and by 31 I was a completely “functional” addict. That’s a long time..my only bouts of sobriety were during pregnancies. Anything that I could abuse; food, cigarettes, street drugs, prescription drugs or even people- I undoubtedly would. It’s almost like I have always been subconsciously self-destructive. By 2014 I was closing in on rock bottom, and it was ugly. I had filed for divorce, lost custody of my kids, and my life was spiraling out of control. Only by the grace of God I didn’t overdose or injure anyone else in my path.
This is the point where the pain of staying the same,… had to be greater than the pain of change.
I knew I couldn’t go on and sought help for my addictions.
Best thing I’ve ever done in my life! Today I am a little over three years clean. It’s been a long road but I take life one day at a time. I worked a 12 step program that enabled me to get to the root of my problems. And it equipped me with “tools” to handle whatever life throws at me. Today I am in disbelief of the character- or lack thereof I’ve had in the past. I barely recognize that woman but I keep her close enough to remind myself how far I’ve come. Early recovery was difficult and I resorted to jogging and home workouts to manage stress and help satisfy my bodies need for endorphins I had been so used to exploiting. This is where my passion for fitness began. My poor eating habits are finally under control, and after so many years of disrespecting my body, It feels amazing to take back control. It’s also an act of gratitude toward my creator. Proper nutrition and exercise were all it took! I have lost 65 lbs. since starting recovery. And 100 lbs since having my last child. I’m absolutely in love with CrossFit and have been doing it a year, clearly, I’m just a fan of pushing myself to the limit. I still go to meetings to share experience, strength, and hope. I have also acquired my personal trainer certification to help others. Because if I can do all these things and turn my life around then anyone can do it. Addiction is everywhere and overdose has reached epidemic levels. I will never be ashamed to share my story, there’s always a chance it could inspire someone somewhere. I’m always available for accountability if anyone needs and wants it. The only question is: do we want to change bad enough? Because here’s another one for ya:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”