Beefcake #15

I have never seen a gluten or a kcal. I don’t have a real understanding of what defines the terms organic or processed. I know nothing of glutamine, creatine, or beta-alanine. I have no idea how to calculate metabolic rate, resting heart rate, nor the difference in good and bad cholesterol. Micros and macros are hard for me to digest (see what I did there?), and insulin response is too much for me to comprehend. My protein to carbs, as it pertains to starches and fiber, is anybody’s guess. Enzymes, probiotics, and gut flora aid in something, but I’m not sure what. Too much of one is bad for the other. You can’t run without meat, but eating it will kill you. Fat gives you heart attacks, and carbs make you fat…or some variation.

Everyone is an expert. Fat guys in gym suits will offer up their opinion, and skinny dudes with poor posture will tell you how to get strong. It’s so much information, and the opinions so varied. CrossFit will kill you. Too much running will get you injured. You will gain weight lifting weights and doing nothing is dangerous. Is it science, is it logic, or is it a tribe that you belong? I don’t know if anyone has the answer, as it seems to change cyclically. The only thing I know for sure, is that I don’t know…and that’s for sure.

I am a lifelong “dieter”. I have bought every product that a paid representative said would work. I have held out hope that every pill was the magic one. I have read the books, bought the cookware, and done ritualistic dances in my kitchen- all in hopes of something doing the trick. I have wrapped bands around my stomach and sat in torturous positions. I have placed my food in containers, as I ordered through the drive-thru. I have had cheat days and strict plans and bought books and heard tapes. If he’s jacked and talks like Arnold or Ivan Drago, I will definitely buy it. The 10 easy payments plus shipping and handling is worth it for the results that they show on TV. Plus, they throw in a shaker bottle, so I can’t turn it down. I have bowflexed, shaker weight-ed, stair mastered, and P90X’d my way into a succession of road blocks. I have asked all the questions, but scoffed at the answers. I don’t want the knowledge, I’d rather argue and blame the source. I have gone so far down the road of dieting, but gone nowhere. I have even called it nutrition, cause the word”diet” somehow hinders weight loss. I have bought into the idea that vocabulary is the problem. I have had hopes that maybe its this food or that food that’s the only source of weight gain. It can’t be my fault, I must be the victim. I have certainly in my power to stop the vicious cycle of losing one pound and gaining three.

A few weeks ago, I was intently listening to someone give me a most detailed account of what goes on internally every time I eat this or eat that. As I was drifting off into space at all the fancy words and things I didn’t understand,¬† I was approached with probably some of the best advice I have ever received. This advice was not only beneficial as it pertains to my diet, but also my life. The words that were stated hit me right between the eyes, in the best kind of way. There was absolutely no harm or malice intended. It was simply a friend putting the facts in the clearest way. These were the words that and the advice which was presented:

“Sometimes people get caught up in the big words and all the sciency scientific science stuff. We can get side-tracked and overwhelmed with the devil in the details. Often, the best advice I can give someone is to stop being a disaster.

Ding ding ding. Light bulb moment.

Step 1: Stop being a disaster.

That’s a lot of work for someone as self-sabotaging¬† and melt-down capable as me. I can look at all the science, buy all the spanx, and try all the gadgets, but until I work on the disastrous areas of my life, there is small chance of my seeing improvement.

Usually the areas that I can cut out are glaring, but I look right past them, and expect something magical, and unique to only me, to happen. If the problem is weight, stop binging on gas station pizza and ice cream before you try counting microjules, weighing your hypo-glycimiods or whatever. If your in an abusive relationship, get out, instead of studying the psychology of abusers. If you keep getting DUI’s, try to stop drinking, instead of calculating different routes home from the bar. If you are tired all the time, try sleep, instead of more caffeine or prescription drugs. If your life is a disaster, stop making disastrous decisions, instead of being a disaster.

I don’t know, I guess I’m a slow learner. It made perfect sense to me. Yeah, maybe it’s a shame that I’m almost forty years old, and this kind of advice is breakthrough kind of stuff, but it’s better than learning at fifty, or never learning at all.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,


My name is Wilson Horrell, aka “Beefcake”.¬† I’m a junkie turned sober that found CrossFit, running, and community to be my new addiction. I have no education or experience as a writer, and almost zero knowledge of grammar. I love sitting in front of a computer and spitting it out on paper as it goes through my brain. I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to reach out or comment at anytime!

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