Beefcake #28

I need certainty. I do better with “yes or no”, “black or white”, “go or stay home” scenarios. If there is uncertainty, or any grey areas, I will turn them into a rainbow of problems. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work this way. Change is always changing, and certainty is a strip of bacon, which is right next to the couch, just out of reach. I want the bacon so badly, but no matter how hard I strain, I just can’t reach it. I can continue to wiggle and strain- always reaching for the bacon, or I can just relax on the couch, and appreciate its comfort . I’m certain that my life will not ever contain a great deal of certainty.

Growing up, change has been something to fear. I don’t feel as I adapt very well, and I am scared that I won’t have the skills for whatever change is about to occur. I resist change whenever I can, and most always feel threatened when I see it coming . Usually, this is because I feel like something is going to be taken from me. I have always tended to side with Chicken Little, and felt like the sky was falling and my world was caving in on itself. Change would shift the pieces around, just enough, to allow people to see what an incompetent phony that I am. If things change, then so does people’s viewpoint of me. If people see me from a better light, they will know that I am not worth looking at.

Today, I try to practice embracing the change- not only accepting it, but enjoying it. I try to view change as a challenge, and like watching the universe re-position itself in an effort to get me a little further down the line. Change got me here. Change is what sculpted me. Change is what caused me pain, but also allows me to stop hurting. Growth comes about with change. Yes, growth hurts, but nearly as badly as the pummeling that you take while standing still, as everyone else moves forward.

I have been the guy who is so afraid to move forward, that I just stood there, stuck in my own crap- unwilling to believe that the place I was standing stunk like an outhouse. I stood there for years and years, in many different areas, from drinking, drugs, obesity, cigarettes, anger, depression, anxiety, blah, blah, blah. I could go on forever. My point is that I would rather sit there and be miserable, than face the fear of making a change.

What I have observed, primarily through my own behavior, is that there are two kinds of people, when it comes to eminent change:

  1. Those who view everything as a beginning. An opportunity. Introducing characters and getting ready to perform. Showtime.
  2. Those who view everything as the end. Certain doom. Rolling credits. Packing up the tent. Waving the white flag and bracing for impact.

I don’t know if there has ever been a time with so much opportunity for optimism, excitement, and growth…. as well as pessimism, rage, and fear. It’s a great time to be alive. Whether we got what we wanted or not, it is all the more reason to celebrate our ability to make a difference in people’s lives, because if one thing is for sure- things are about to change. I have NO idea what kind of change we are gonna see, but we are gonna see change.

We have all seen the movie, read the book, or seen the play about the character who rises to the top when the chips are down. We all love the scenes from the Rocky movies, where the rubber meets the road, and it’s time for Rocky to roll up his sleeves and get to work. Everyone’s favorite part is when the theme music kicks in and he is doing pushups with Uncle Pauly on his back, running through the streets like an animal, or dragging some kind of something through the snow in the middle of Siberia or some crap like that. THAT is what we pay for. THAT is why we buy $12 buckets of popcorn, and leave with a buttered face that people can see their own reflection in. We are dying for the dilemma. We want so badly for the opportunity to fight Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, or Ivan Drago. We would give anything for the world to watch us, as we fought as the underdog for the good of the people. Our society loves boldness. We are absolute suckers for acts of heroics. We love it. We should love it. People fighting the good fight for the benefit of the greater good, THAT is where the feel-goods are. And here it is, the opportunity to rise up and shine. The opportunity to accept the cards that we have been dealt, roll up our sleeves and get to work, making our own situations better through being better people- refusing to allow anyone else govern our degree of happiness.

What do we do?

How do we handle it?

How do we build the backdrop for our own Rocky movie?

Well…let’s hope its better than bitching on Facebook. Name calling, blanketed statements, and group hating make for a crappy Rocky movie training scene. You know better. You are better. Get to work. Make awesome stuff happen.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,


My name is Wilson Horrell, aka “Beefcake”.  I’m a junkie turned sober that found CrossFit, running, and community to be my new addiction. I have no education or experience as a writer, and almost zero knowledge of grammar. I love sitting in front of a computer and spitting it out on paper as it goes through my brain. I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to reach out or comment at anytime!

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