It all started when I saw the boobs of Jamie Lee Curtis. I couldn’t have been ten years old at the time. My mom and dad were watching the movie “Trading Places” on our top-of-the-line VCR, which Santa Claus had brought us for Christmas. I awoke from my bed and came into the den to say one last “Good night”…for about the tenth time that evening.

As I lay there on the floor, ignoring my parent’s insistence that it was time for me to go to bed, I stared at the television, which my parent’s insisted that I should not be watching. As Jamie Lee Curtis went into the restroom and took off her wig, each of my parent’s commanded the same order, “Cover your eyes. You are not supposed to see this.”, is what they said. I did what they said…kinda.

I placed the palm of my hand across both eyes on my face, except for the crack, which was strategically left open, in-between my ring finger and middle finger. As Mrs. Curtis removed her shirt, I felt thunder crack, I saw lighting crash, and I heard the gates of heaven starting to close on me (it turns out, that sound was St. peter himself, sticking his head around the corner and getting a look for himself.) Right then, my life had changed.

Any man, between the ages of thirty five and forty five years old, who has seen Trading Places, knows exactly what I am talking about. Actually, any man of any age…ya know what? ANYBODY who has seen the movie knows exactly what I am talking about.

Just like that, everything was different. My entire existence had been a lie. I WAS supposed to see this. I very, very, very much was suppose to see this!

Is this what I can expect to be on the other side of everything that I am not supposed to do or see? Jamie Lee Curtis’s boobs?

Will everything that I am not suppose to see or do, result in a Jamie-Lee-Curtis-boob-like experience?

If that’s the case, I was pretty sure that I needed to do my own independent testing of what it was that I was “supposed” to do or not do, to see or not see. This caused for an extremely fun, exciting, interesting life, which was also filled filled with a lot of problems, consequences, pain, and regret. I think there many people are born with a sense of wisdom, and some people have to earn it.

As for me, I’m not sure that “wise” is a word that will ever be used to accurately describe me, but I think that “experienced” would be pretty accurate. Very few of the lessons that I have learned throughout my life have come from books, or any traditional institution of higher learning. Most of my knowledge has come from the field, or on-the job-training, you might say. Sometimes, this is a tough way to go through life, but it certainly keeps things interesting.

People have different methods of learning, and that is what makes life so interesting. I don’t always have to agree with ones methods, because what works for one might not work for the other. As for me? Well, all that I have learned, I learned from:

starring into the sun,

picking the scab, and

crossing my eyes.

I went, when I should have stayed.

I bobbed, when I should have weaved.

I laughed, when I was supposed to cry.

I skipped, when I was told to attend.

I drank it. I rolled it. I smoked it. I popped it, dropped it, and snorted it.

I chewed my nails.

I popped my zits.

I went out too fast. Got out of my league. Went way too high, and watched it all crash down.

I ran when they said walk, stood when they said sit, and talked when they said listen.

I peeked behind the curtains, and tore the tape off the corners, just to see what’s inside.

I lit it on fire just to see what would happen, and I cut it wide open, just to see if it would bleed.

I rang and I ran, and I papered the trees. I denied it intensely, even though I had been caught.

I stayed up way past my bedtime, and I mocked the authority. I went out with my hair wet and I scoffed at good advice.

I teased and I bullied. I hurt and I heckled.

I tried and I failed, and I failed without trying.

I searched for the answers for the questions, I never asked.

I learned, and I learned, and I learned, and I learned. Never realizing that my bad decisions were educations outside a class.

There seems to be a certain wisdom that can come with stupidity and a degree of profoundness that comes with ignorance. It’s difficult to place an accurate label on things before the entire story has been told. It is hard to know what one should do, should believe, should act, or should stand behind. We will have all the answers as they are covering us up with dirt, but until then, it seems to be just a difference in styles and opinions.

Be careful in what you stand behind, how you stand behind it, and how harshly you convey your beliefs. We might all be accurate in our approach, our methods, and our mindsets once the day comes to see what movie ol Peter is watching.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,


My name is Wilson Horrell, aka “Beefcake”.  I’m a junkie turned sober that found CrossFit, running, and community to be my new addiction. I have no education or experience as a writer, and almost zero knowledge of grammar. I love sitting in front of a computer and spitting it out on paper as it goes through my brain. I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to reach out or comment at anytime!

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