I know very, very little about Chris Cornell. I certainly don’t know enough to write an entire blog on him. All I know is that the man could totally whale behind a microphone. I also know that he was seemingly rather depressed, and I do know a little something about that.
This weekend I overheard a couple of gentlemen speaking of the tragedy of Chris Cornell’s suicide. One of the young men, while I believe meaning no disrespect, made the comment,
“Whats he got to be depressed about? I would never do that.”
Well, that’s just the thing. What he has to be depressed about is….depression. That’s what sucks about depression. It doesn’t make any attempts to be anything other than just what it is. It’s depression.
Depression is not a comparative situation. You don’t fall into a depression and say,
“Damn, this depression sucks, but at least I’m not as depressed as Jimmy, so, ‘whoo-hoo’.”
It doesn’t work like that.
You don’t slip into a slump and then say,
“Well, I don’t have it as bad as Suzie, so I might as well jump up and run around the house, laughing hysterically.”
It’s not that easy.
Depression totally sucks. I can think of very little which can absolutely suck the life out of you, while providing little or no reason why. It having no logic behind why it came to visit, but can be as painful and difficult of a mountain as one will ever have to climb…..only the mountain is simply sitting up in bed and making it to the shower.
Sometimes there is enough logical and visible evidence to justify one’s being depressed, but for the most part, it is rather illogical and just seems to rear it’s ugly head whenever it chooses. It’s kinda like the distant uncle that comes to “visit” family members throughout the year. Being unemployed for the last twenty years, no one really knows where he comes up with the money to travel, but everyone knows whose teet he will be living off while he is in town. Depression makes no sense, but that doesn’t change it’s essence. Sometimes it just shows up, and getting it to leave can be rather uncomfortable and can also require a great deal of work.
There is no qualifying whether or not someone has “reason” to be depressed, and there is no just cheering up. There is more at play than just reasons, examples, and things going on in someone’s life; there is an entire body’s worth of chemicals and neuro-brain-thingies, synapsing, firing, rewiring, and bigwording all up in our melons.
Anyone who believes that if they had a certain amount of friends, fame, or fortune, then they would never be depressed, has not been afflicted with severe depression. And most of us know that the statement,
“I would never blah blah blah…” is null and void when a situation becomes dire enough. “Never” comes to pass as soon as the desperation gets bad enough.
I say all this to say, if you hit the skids, talk to someone about it. Depression loves loneliness and will do whatever it can to keep you all to itself. For whatever reason, some people are uncomfortable with depression or view it as some sort of weakness. I have no idea how to classify it, other than something that sucks and needs to be talked about. Having had the gun in my mouth and wishing for it all to go away, I know what it is like to feel alone in a room full of people. Get with someone and talk about it. Depression doesn’t like company and there is power in people.
Have a good day.
Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,
Spot on, Wilson! I wish everyone in the world could read this post just as much as I wish everyone in the world could have their own 12 step program! Thank you for sharing!
Isn’t that the truth?! Thank you so much for the comment and for reading.
So true. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks you Ellen!
Wow!!! I know you are speaking from your own experience but you so captured the things I have to deal with.
People are always surprised to hear I deal with bouts of depression. I do try to hide it from others by “disappearing” for short periods of time.
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for sharing you own personal struggles with people like me who need to hear it.
You are welcome. Thank you for reading. It’s crazy how often we try to “hide” something like this. Im totally guilty of doing the same thing.